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Sometimes, landlords say to me: “but surely, everybody else is already doing something like this?” But that’s the point – sometimes the idea is so simple that people haven’t actually thought about it. Like great magic tricks, people often look for a more complex solution than there really is and we regularly do this with our pubs, over-complicating in an effort to improve business.
In my travels, I’ve not yet had the opportunity to visit the Charters, a pub in Peterborough, Northamptonshire, but I read about it this weekend and now I wonder if I’ve managed to pinch an idea from him already! The landlord has been having difficulty with people leaving cars in the car park while they head off elsewhere to do their shopping and has come up with a unique way to point out to nuisance parkers that they shouldn’t be there…
Quite often, people leave their cars in my car park but, as a village pub, this is usually because they’ve had one too many to drive home and they’ve either got a taxi, got the wife to pick them up, or I’ve bundled a couple of them in to my Voyager and driven them home myself rather than have them attempt to make it back under their own steam.
Usually, of course, these cars are collected the next day but occasionally they’ll be left a little longer. And, usually, I know whose car it is so if it turns out to be in the way I’ve probably already asked them to leave the keys with me, or I call them up and get them to come and collect it sooner than they were probably going to.
But every now and then somebody will leave a car in the car park because they’re visiting others in the village. Now, I’m not a curmudgeonly old fellow really, so if they pop in to the bar and tell me that this is what they’re going to do then I don’t normally mind. But if they don’t, this can sometimes cause problems – especially if, as happens, they’ve left the car in such a position that I can’t open my garage door to get the children’s bikes out.
In the summer, the owner of one rather new Alfa Romeo left his car blocking access to the covered space where I keep my car while he trotted off on a weekend with his mates. Luckily, my car hadn’t actually been parked there when he departed, but it did mean I couldn’t park in my own space for a few days.
What’s worse, we had no idea whose car it was. It turns out that the owner had been with a visiting cricket team and, having drank too much to drive, had got a lift home with some friends without letting any of the bar staff know his car was where it was.
To top the situation off, when he did return my wife mentioned to him that we had been on the verge of calling the police as it was causing an obstruction and we didn’t know whose car it was. The torrent of abuse he then levelled at her was quite horrific; clearly, he failed to understand the difference between a private and a public car park.
But Mr Hook of the Charters has decided that removing the windscreen wipers from cars left in his car park not belonging to customers is a more effective method of getting his message across.
The idea might be a bit extreme, but it amuses me – and the police won’t take action because apparently it’s not illegal as it’s happening on private land; also, as the blades can be clipped straight back on, no criminal damage has taken place.
The owner of the car will discover their blades missing, and a note on the windscreen telling them to call in to the bar to get their wipers back. Along with, presumably, a polite lesson in where they should be parking.
Paul Hook hopes that this will be a more effective, and friendlier, deterrent than putting in a barrier system or employing the services of a clamping company.
I can’t help but think I agree with him.
Marke Daniels is licensee of The Tharp Arms in Chippenham, Cambridgeshire. Got an idea to share? Email editorial@inapub.co.uk
